My Weight Loss Solution Blogs
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Putting a Cork in It
12/28/07
The Emotional and Psychological Side of Weight Control
By Colleen Laing
On our way out of a recent party the hostess offered me a truffle-like thing she was just setting out, and I took one. As I drove home I ate what turned out to be a giant wad of peanut butter and coconut dipped in chocolate. It was really gross. I knew it was gross, but I finished it. Why?
Maybe I was putting a cork in my mouth, stuffing my feelings down inside and sealing them with this fattening blob.
Even before the party, I was enervated from a day of nonstop preschooler chatter, and I was mad about having needed a break and not gotten the kind of support I wanted from my partner. After the party, I was drained from socializing on top of it. I just wanted to go home and have some quiet time to myself.
Instead, I was facing being the sole or primary parent handling bedtime with a wound-up, over-tired four year old. I knew tooth brushing, changing into PJs, and the rest of the nightly ritual—so often an endearing routine—was tonight fraught with the potential to stress me out and leave me feeling like a failed parent.
What I suppose I should have been doing in the car on the way home was talking about my needs and asking to have them met. Saying to my partner: “I’m beat. I don’t feel up to the bedtime routine. I could really use an hour to myself to decompress. Would you handle bedtime tonight?”
At the time, though, all I felt capable of was either lashing out and blaming my partner for my feeling wiped-out, or putting a cork in my mouth and soothing myself with food. I did the latter. Next time perhaps I’ll jump between the horns of the dilemma, so to speak, and talk about how I’m feeling, say what I need without blaming, and ask for help. I may not get it; I may get some of it. I may still end up so raw and tired I soothe myself with food. I won’t know until I try.
